Some Yellow Ray Thoughts

The following is a copy of some correspondence I sent to a Friend, when trying to explain my Understandings concerning the solar plexus center.


The Yellow Ray Experience

So the fundamental nature of yellow-ray seems to be that of Relationship. It’s like the interface point between the self and the other-self. Relationships are just a more personal way of referring to the fact that we are social-beings at heart, and that it’s in how we relate to other-selves, that we can come to more coherent understandings and perpectives about ourselves.

So as human beings, the fact that we have distinctly individualised experiences provides a sharp contrast point with other-selves. That point of ‘contrast’ then becomes the starting point for how we relate and connect to others.

The ‘Negative Approach’

Our human history and civilization is filled to the brink with horror stories. Stories of warfare, domination, religious impositions. The negative approach to yellow ray is to force a certain kind of ‘Conformity’ on other-selves, which is backed by both law and threat of physical punishment. The society is then defined by some sort of ‘Code’, which comes down from those in positions of Power. It doesn’t matter if the Code is benevolent in nature, or has Ideals that are seemingly noble or worthwhile, it’s the fact that it’s imposed that makes it negative in nature. It’s not chosen by Free Will in other words. Free Will is not about finding the ‘right answer’; it’s more about how one goes about the business of determining what the ‘right answer’ is. And so any top-down hierarchical system is enforcing negative yellow ray patterns on it’s members. This can happen on a very large scale (on the level of societies and countries), and even on the very smallest scale, in how 2 individuals choose to inter-relate to each other. It becomes a yellow-ray experience when a self and another-self intersect in any way.

The ‘Positive Approach’

So what’s the opposite to that? Surely we need some kind of order, that people need to be organised, for their own good? Well, organization is not the issue. It’s more about how one arrrives at an organization (and how it functions) that makes it a point of consideration. The Positive Approach aims to respect individuality and personal nuance; and tries, as best as possible, to recognise the validity of diverse experience. That’s not to say that *all* experience is of equal worth; there are some actions that are more positive than others, and some more negative, but the recognition of Validity is at the heart of positive-relating. When positives relate, they are trying to see-through the outward differences, and identify what is common. Not in an attempt to ignore difference or write it off; but in the sense that whether someone is 5’9″ or 5’11” should be of small concern when trying to see through to the heart of the other self.

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Withdrawal and Non-Engagement

In the above, I’ve given the two sharply contrasting approaches to yellow ray, in terms of polarization.

Issues may also come up, when there has been some form of trauma, rejection, or bullying, when an entity feels like it’s too hard, or that there are too few opportunities to engage in a meaningful way in regards to yellow ray. This then leads to the phenomena of retreat and non-engagement.

Of course, living in a socially-suffused society that we do, the extent of one’s possible retreat is somewhat limited. But it’s definitely possible to become a ‘shut in’, and have very limited interactions. Loneliness and isolation are not uncommon phenomena.

Anxiety and over self-awareness usually accompany this state of mind; one is constantly thinking about other-selves (and their potential rejection of that individual), even though one is in a state of relative isolation. One can’t really ‘deactivate yellow ray’; it can only really be blunted, sapped, and diffused when it’s not utilized in a directly positive or negative way, as described above.

This kind of ‘non-engagement’, in this context, usually applies to positively-oriented individuals that can’t find a way, philoophically speaking, of making their Ideals work in a real way. Again, that may be because of some trauma or negative experience that they’ve not been able to resolve in their own Minds. So this approach of ‘Non Action’ is the best time-filler that seems to be available, given their circumstances.

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My Own Experiences

So in terms of my Own Life, I started developing a sense of ‘I don’t fit in’ from quite early on. This sort of became crystallized because of innocent racism from other kids (who were just repeating behaviour from their parents and grandparents), and so the fact that I was asian in a predominantly white society became a fulcrum point around which yellow-ray issues could develop. However, looking back on things with a clearer eye, I can see now that it was just the most obvious ‘Externalization’ of my feeling that I didn’t fit in. I’m sure if you had placed this consciousness and personality into a white-person’s body, I would still have developed those sensations of alienation and difference; in other words, this issue had deeper roots.

Things started making so much more sense when I came across the Wanderer Description that Ra provided. It encapsulated, in such a compact way, all those feelings and internalised sensations of ‘not belonging’ to this wider culture and society. It gave a reasonable explanation for my Beingness. And it went beyond any logical association or reasoning; the Wanderer Explanation just felt real.

So what to do with that Knowledge? Did my yellow-ray patterns instantly become cleared, because of this clarified understanding of myself? Not at all. In fact, this kind of concept can serve to exacerbate a perceived difference between the self and the other, and make the division even starker.


The Long Journey To Balance

And so for me, given everything that I’ve come to understand about myself over the last 8-9 years, it became clear that my yellow ray area was the weakest; followed by the red-ray, and then the indigo. But the yellow-ray was the crux of the other two issues as well. These were patterns that had accreted because I had invested mental-life and energy into them over decades. Our Thoughts have consequences, and so these yellow-ray impairments had built up, and gotten worse, over time. My retreat, disaffection, and alienation from other-selves was probably peaking (or one could say, plummeting) back in 2006-2007. There was plenty of work to do, and it was not necessarily done in a linear, progressive fashion.

And so while my road towards balance has taken me to many places (mentally speaking), and has covered the full spectrum of the energy centers, one could say that the main underpinning (and where the greatest changes have been effectuated) has been in the solar plexus region. My road to self-integration has happened in direct consonance with my understandings and forgivenesses in yellow ray. And that still continues to this day, as I’m writing this.

Understandings

and so what have I learnt, what are my crystallized Understandings in this area, which have moved me closer toward integration? Glad that you asked ๐Ÿ™‚

1) Affiliations

we have from Ra:

“Each entity must, in order to completely unblock yellow ray, love all which are in relationship to it, with hope only of the other-selvesโ€™ joy, peace, and comfort.”

And so to me, yellow ray is about an unconditional social ease; to be able to work with the situations and the people that you find yourself with. Of course, not all situations are going to be comfortable and harmonious; but it’s about having the clarity and the fortitude to stay present to what is unfolding, and being able to relate to it, in an ongoing way. In other words, not retreating into one’s own inner space ๐Ÿ™‚

So the very activity of yellow ray, it’s very crux, is in choosing to affiliate oneself with others around you. That may sound so very obvious to someone who’s never endured yellow-ray issues, and it might seem like the most normal behaviour, but the other-self is truly your Salvation. They can give you a mirror (and a contrast) to your Situation, without even really trying to. Having a second Opinion is so much more valuable than trying to just figure things out on your own, as smart as you think you are. And so learning to see the value in other-selves, has been crucial to working with this area. For the longest time, I was sustained by the (erroneous) belief that others couldn’t help me. And it was true: others couldn’t help me; at least not in the way that I had thought. But they could help me, in ways that I didn’t realise that they could.

2) Facing Rejection

Some folks are highly sensitive, and I count myself amongst those. But that sensitivity can be a harsh experience in a rough-and-tumble world. One way of blunting that Sensitivity is not exposing it; and by closing it off to potential rejective experiences. And that’s the approach that I took.

I absolutely convinced myself that others were spending every moment of their waking lives finding something wrong to criticize me about. That if I was going to speak or act, it needed to be absolutely perfect, or else ridicule and rejection would be the response. I had internalized random childhood experiences, and converted them into a Manifesto about how others think and deal with me. I had made it intensely personal and self-centered at the same time. A yellow ray blockage, gone mad.

This limited my social interactions immensely. Social situations are, by their very nature, incredibly dynamic and complex, and so situations are going to arise, unanticipated. For someone who needed to rehearse to make things perfect, it was not a desirable (or comfortable) place to be. And so I just cut back on the unnecessaries. And reduced things to the perfunctoraries. I was not always like this. But it was something that got intensified 10x after I left high school (and my McDonald’s job), and had to face things as an adult, in an unfamiliar world, and without a seeming support structure.

Things also got better (and also worse) in the years that followed; so it was not a straight downward trajectory; but I think things hit rock-bottom in 2006-2007, where I had no friends or associations except the one last connection that I kept: with my best buddy and flatmate.

But to clear this issue (fully), I had to face what I felt was the worst feeling in the world: to be rejected by another self.

3) Appraising Self Worth

When we engage with another-self, we already have formed or mapped out some form of ‘Model’ of who that person is, and who we are in relation to them. If, however, our own ‘Model’ of who we are is one that is full of self-criticism and self-diminishment, then the kind of possible ‘relating’ that is possible is going to be quite constrained, just because we have self-delimited things from our own end, before things even started.

So we have to get back to our own Social Image, and how we paint the picture of ourselves.

For me, this was a long process of learning to get out of my own way, and not block the free-flow of inspirational thoughts triggered by that other-self. It was learning to trust that what ‘came up’ in my mind, entirely spontaneously, was appropriate to explore and express with that person … otherwise it wouldn’t have come up in the first place. And even more profoundly, was learning to accept and acknowledge that if NOTHING came up with that Individual, then it wasn’t a failing of mine. There was just no consonant overlap, at that particular point in time. One of my own (positive/martyr) issues is feeling that I needed to do more, to give something of value, otherwise it would be an implicit rejection of that person. And so if nothing came up during an Interaction (ie, I had nothing to say at all, I was not moved in any way, not because of suppression), then I took that as me Failing that Person, and so I didn’t want to feel that.

So this acceptance/clearance was two-fold:

* not to block spontaneous thoughts/experiences with someone, because I learnt to see that it was the most appropriate and joyous expression of that mutuality, at that exact moment in time

* not to feel bad if I felt absolutely nothing about someone. It didn’t mean that I didn’t like them, or was rejecting them; there was just no ‘connection’ at that moment in time (and that didn’t discount that we could connect in the future; which was another issue: because if I felt that I had ‘failed’ someone, then I would try to eliminate them from my life, because I didn’t want to experience that again; not because I wanted them out of my life).

So basically the real self-worth Understanding was being able to acknowledge the absolute Validity of my own Reactions, in response to another Individual. If Thoughts arose, they deserved to be explored; if nothing at all came up, then Silence is perfectly acceptable. If the other Person finds that silence difficult, they can note that, and we can talk about that then. But it was learning to accept that my own yellow-ray Worth comes from being present with someone, and allowing a mutual experience to unfold, unhindered by pre-expections of what it ‘should be’. Everything is perfectly acceptable and appropriate, and even if missteps are made, they are a mirror, and can be mutually clarified, for extreme benefit to both parties.

4) Harnessing the Law of Squares

The negative approach to harnessing yellow-ray power relies on an amount of ‘coercion’ and railroading people into your vested interests. It’s the attitude of the Self above the Group.

The positive approach has seemingly less ‘structure’, and yet, is equally as powerful in it’s possible effects. Having things develop absolutely organically, and without preconception as to the outcome is also another thing I’ve had to learn to ‘trust’ about this aspect of yellow-ray positivity. I have an incredible faith when it comes to green-ray positivity, orange-ray positivity, and blue-ray positivity, and it doesn’t need to be ‘proved’ to me at all. But learning to trust that yellow-ray positivity also ‘works’ is something that has been a long road for at least 8 years. I’ve been consistently challenged with negative thoughts that I wasn’t doing enough, it wasn’t feasible, that I needed to ‘push harder’ to make things happen. But that’s not how yellow-ray positivity works. People will choose to align with you, based on your particular Vision, not how hard you are pushing it. The Quality matters so much more than any Quantity. Learning to see that, and where I was almost consistently emotionally undermining myself because of lack of perceived results has opened effortless doorways for me. And this level of Understanding is still being worked on, and elaborated.

But even in the last 2-3 Weeks, it became clearer where I was emotionally attacking myself, and blocking this yellow ray positive freedom.

/ /

end of Document ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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